Trial by fire.

Well, all of my money is gone.

No more unemployment.

No job.

Because I have an alcohol addiction, in a few days I will get to go through withdrawl. This will be the second time. The first was in October, when I nearly froze to death at the cabin.

I should have learned then. I made it 25 days. Then I drank again.

I also smoke. Because of 35 years of doing that, I now have COPD. I can't imagine having to go cold turkey on both alcohol and cigarettes at the same time, but that is what I am facing.

In all these years. The last six at least....

Nobody came to my aid.

My ex who divorced me....

My former coworkers...

Nobody.

They all let me fucking rot and die here.

With all the talent, experience and ability I have, nobody stood up for me. Not one person went the extra mile to help.

So, when I lost my last job, 2 years ago, I moved back in with my father.

All of my shit still lies in boxes here. A life totally destroyed. On hold. No place to go. No home.
No job. No money. Nothing left at all.

And still, I get calls from my ex and kids..."Can you help..."

No, I can't help.

See, the last few years, I needed your help. I needed REAL help.

I needed people who would reach out to me, help me, maybe cook me a dinner, or help me find work.

When all was said and done.

I was alone.

I gave my entire life to a marriage and to raise children.

I worked for 30 years.

Drove over 1 million miles commuting.

Risked my life.

Gave all I had.

And when it counted...

I was left here to rot and die.

I would have given anything for my family. I would have sacrificed anything at all.

But when it came down to me.

They let me go.

So.

I am gone.

I am leaving you all behind.

I am moving on to a new life. I will do as I please.

But you?

You are on your own.

This is my goodbye. No, I am not dying. I am moving on.

This is life number 2.

And it starts today.