The Positive and the Negative.

What will win?

Will the pain of loss and crisis crush us. Or will our spirit prevail.

Can we overcome any obstacle?

Can we. Can I.

Have a real life, where happiness dominates misery?

I don't have the answer yet.

What I will say is this.

Of late I have rededicated myself to the good. To be optimistic, to work at something productive. To share good tidings. To look at the good.

While at the same time, virtually everything around me. Every person I loved. Everything. Falls apart in a smoldering ash heap.

When I look at just the facts.

My father now in debt to the IRS for an insane amount of money. The risk is the loss of his home, and the cabin and lake property I and my family hold so dear.

My ex wife. No matter the strife she caused me.

With a degenerative disease that will slowly rob her of the ability to have a normal life. Taking from her the motor skills to write. To walk. To speak properly. And eventually, to breathe.

I am almost out of unemployment insurance.

I am going to beg my company for a hardship release of money that I would normally be able to collect in 20 months.

I am working with all I have to try to stay positive.

I keep up the fight.

What I want more than anything on this Earth.

What I miss more than all I can say.

Is to one day again be able to come HOME.

Rest my weary body.

Hang my hat.

In a place where...

The bills are all paid.

We are all healthy.

There are smiles a plenty

There is a hot meal coming.

The house is ours.

And there is love, and happiness.

Where the positive outweighs the negative.

Where hope is finally realized.

And not crushed under foot. Or burned on a funeral pyre.