From a dear friend.

So much of what delights and troubles you
Happens on a surface
You take for ground.
Your mind thinks your life alone,
Your eyes consider air your nearest neighbor,
Yet it seems that a little below your heart
There houses in you an unknown self
Who prefers the patterns of the dark
And is not persuaded by the eye's affection
Or caught by the flash of thought.

It is a self that enjoys contemplative patience
With all your unfolding expression,
Is never drawn to break into light
Though you entangle yourself in unworthiness
And misjudge what you do and who you are.

It presides within like an evening freedom
That will often see you enchanted by twilight
Without ever recognizing the falling night,
It resembles the under-earth of your visible life:
All you do and say and think is fostered
Deep in its opaque and prevenient clay.

It dwells in a strange, yet rhythmic ease
That is not ruffled by disappointment;
It presides in a deeper current of time
Free from the force of cause and sequence
That otherwise shapes your life.

Were it to break forth into day,
Its dark light might quench your mind,
For it knows how your primeval heart
Sisters every cell of your life
To all your known mind would avoid,

Thus it knows to dwell in you gently,
Offering you only discrete glimpses
Of how you construct your life.

At times, it will lead you strangely,
Magnetized by some resonance
That ambushes your vigilance.

It works most resolutely at night
As the poet who draws your dreams,
Creating for you many secret doors,
Decorated with pictures of your hunger;

It has the dignity of the angelic
That knows you to your roots,
Always awaiting your deeper befriending
To take you beyond the threshold of want,
Where all your diverse strainings
Can come to wholesome ease.

John O'Donohue

Averted Vision

It's a technique you can use with your eyes, to intentionally focus slightly aside of the thing you want to see. What it does is allow the more light sensitive areas of your retina to capture more of the scene. Especially good when looking at stars, or dim objects.

For me, for the last few years...

I have been using this.

To see the better parts of life more clearly. To look away from the center. To be able to see things that otherwise would not have been as clear.

One thing about averted vision.

You have to look away from what you want to see. Just by a hair.

In the process, you have to look away from those things that can distract you.

For me, that means.

My father.

My ex wife.

They have their needs.

And they are not in line with mine.

Let me make this abundantly clear.

I do not care about your needs, Dad. Not at all.

I do not care about your needs, my ex wife. Not at all.

I have born the burden for too many years.

I am averting my vision.

To see what I need to see.

And neither of you are in view.

Good versus Evil

Been pondering and discussing this subject a lot lately, with close friends.

And it has been the definition of my life.

Some of the evil I battled was within myself at one time. Ferreting out demons that plagued me.

But now, it has grown to be so much larger than that.

I am at the center of a circle.

With an encroaching horde of barbarians. Looking to lay me low. And not just me. Attacking those who have befriended me. Those who support me. Those who love me.

In the last few months and weeks my eyes have been opened to it.

And they are ramping up their efforts. Becoming bolder. Attacking. Openly.

Trying to take all the good. And destroy it. For their selfish ends

In the last few years, I have been painfully looking for the right path.

When I make a mistake in judgment, or try to take control, the universe kicks my ass. Of late, in a huge, unmistakable way.

I am still waking up to what this is all about. Trying to learn to see what the right choices are

For me and my life. My future. And how that relates to the people I love.

Clearly now there are signs everywhere. I am picking up on them. Understanding what is going on. What people are doing and why.

And inevitably, my conclusion is very simple.

There is a battle being waged. A test of wills, but more than that.

A test of faith and of love, and of the combined power of loving friends.

I am now aware.

And I now see.

And my answer to evil is simple.

Dead silence.

The People I have Met

During this journey.

The best among them. All wounded souls. All people with great loss, heartache and obstacles.

So very many

So incredibly talented.

They have turned to nature for their peace. For their calm. For their life.

Some are photographers like me.

Others bring birds to life by carving them from wood, to the point where you swear they could take flight at any moment.

Some write beautiful poems. Inspiring words. Heartfelt.

Some just close their eyes, and listen. And connect.

All of us. My friends.

Have lost.

Almost everything.

Marriages.

Jobs.

Their health.

But we all share one thing.

We connect.

With nature. With the outdoors.

With our soul.

With each other.

I love you all.

Of Black Skimmers and Thunderstorms.

After a grueling day at the job from hell, two Summers ago...

I made the 80 mile drive after work to the refuge.

The sun was getting low. The light was wonderful.

I drove down Wildlife drive, to the first gate. And to my surprise, not another soul was there. Nobody but me at this beautiful place.

The wind was cool and the breeze was light...thanks to a thunderstorm that was creeping in from the west.

I shut off my car, and got out.

I stood at the gate....took a deep breath. And just soaked it all in.

The sounds of distant thunder were echoing.

The Black Skimmers were skimming and barking their adorable calls.

And I was alone with them. And all of this. Just me.

It was a magical moment. One I will treasure forever.

I got no good photos. The light was on the wrong side.

But it didn't matter.

It was just me and the splendor of nature.

There is nothing on Earth like this.

I heard the Skimmers call. The thunder rolled. The wind on my face and arms.

Caressing me.

I was home.