Motivation

What drives us?

What drives me?

Well, that is an interesting question that has been put out there now a number of times, recently for me.

Why do I spend so many days at the refuge and out with my cameras?

Why do I believe in it? Why is it the focus of my efforts? And what is it about my life that makes me work so very hard in my photography, and in my writing.

And the answer I keep coming back to is simple, profound, and unfortunate.

If I were married, had a nice home, a good job that I even halfway enjoyed. If I had comfort and love, and companionship. If I had that life that so many do have, and the rest of us dream of....

Then I would not be doing what I do.

I would be home cutting the grass, and getting ready to fire up the grill for a Memorial Day cookout. I'd be hugging and kissing my wife, and talking to my kids about what new and wonderful things await them as they become young adults.

But my life is not that dream.

It is one of devastation and loss and betrayal and pain.

And almost endless loneliness.

And that loss and suffering and pain drive me.

To find the beauty in nature.

To pour myself into my photography.

To wear my emotions on my sleeve, and write about the things that have changed the course of my life. Indeed, the things that have changed who I am.

I now understand where so many artists got their inspiration. It was from the pain and yearning and loss in their own lives.

I don't pretend to be on the same stage with the greats.

But I do understand.

We can't let our souls and our love and our hopes perish.

Even though we know that our lives will never be what we once dreamed.

So we find new dreams. And we seek out that which is beautiful and wonderful.

All the while wanting to express the rage, the hurt, the anguish we feel inside.

When we hurt, we look for comfort.

And we find it.

In our art.

And we show the hopes and dreams and love we have to share.