Reflections of a life mostly behind me.

Coming on the heels of my post about Motivation, this one really gets to the heart of the matter.

What do you do when the entire plans you had for your life were destroyed?

When all those dreams are gone.

Well, I am 52 years old. There is a lot there to think about.

And it feels at times like I am looking back on someone else's life.

It can't be mine. It's gone. And I can't really completely come to grips with that.

My life as I knew it ended with such violence and tumult, that I sit here 5 years later in disbelief.

I KNOW what happened.

But the images of all those years are still there. And they are my past.

And they are not connected to my life now, or my future.

And that is where the challenge to my soul and spirit lie.

In trying to reconcile so much of my life....

Not being a part of my present, or my future.

And therein lies the challenge.

How do you live a life from this day forward, with nothing from your past surviving?

I guess by building one new memory after another.

All the while, though...there are these images. These times. These memories.

As if reincarnated, you glance back in a dim haze at some past that you lived, never really feeling that it's part of you. Yet, inexorably, it haunts you.