If I were to write an ad for myself....

52 year old single man, reasonably good shape.
Divorced.
Unemployed and Bankrupt.
Live with my father.
Have one 11 year old pickup truck, and one 6 year old car.
2 Adult Children, not living with me.
Enjoy Photography and Nature.

Formerly a husband and provider for a family of four.
For 23 years.
30 Year career making six figures for last 12.
Former homeowner.
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Today, it's hard to look at people and tell them where I am at, so to speak. There is nothing more humiliating than to have my father go and pay a storage facility bill for me, and talk to a man who works there who is my age, but obviously working and doing okay.

Yeah, my dad is paying for that. Thanks so much.

And you can see in their eyes, a few things.

How pathetic it is.
And how they are very happy they are not me.

It is too humbling.
It is humiliating.

I live now only by having to take charity from my parent.
Saddled with lifetime alimony, my unemployment pay cannot cover the bills I still have.

The convergence of events that led to this are almost the worst possible cases for all of them.

The divorce resulted in having to sell the family home. Just after the housing market tumbled and sank to an all time low.

Very shortly after, the career I had for almost 30 years came to an end, as I was laid off (along with a host of other people).

And without a degree, and at this age, I am almost completely excluded from consideration in the field I worked in, and at anywhere near the levels I once attained.

The cost of the loss on the house, along with all the legal bills and expenses put me over the edge, and into bankruptcy.

Of course, with all of this, I was unable to stay in a rented townhouse, and had to move back in with my father, where I had stayed for almost a year when my ex-wife threw me out and divorced me.

All this, at the same time. All within a period of a couple years.

I live out of boxes. I have now for a couple years.

Gave away all of the lawn and garden equipment I once owned, because it was too costly to keep storing. Figured I'd never have a house again, so why keep it.

And then, my mother died.

People keep telling me that the future is in my hands. That it is possible to pull up and out, and get a good job again, and that I need to think positively, and work hard.

Well, that may be true. The future is in my hands.

But the past surely wasn't.

Was it.

Yep, 52 year old man.
Or maybe, more like, half a man.