I choose to live.

Lately I have had many thoughts of throwing in the towel and giving up. My closest friends barely speak to me. I live a life of poverty, alone in an empty house. A house filled with filth and crowded with incredible amounts of shit. Including the boxes from my last move. All my clothes, belongings, collectibles. Sit in cardboard prisons waiting to be opened someday. The day that I have a home of my own again, if I ever do.

Rejected by people, by employers, I go out with a vengeance with my cameras and try to capture the amazing beauty and rawness of nature.

I have nobody to lay next to me and hold me. For years now. I have no companionship.

My mother now dead almost 2 years. I miss her every day.

My father in a great new relationship, lives with his girlfriend.

I have spent many days and nights listening to tunes, having a drink or two, and contemplating the rest of my life.

And I choose to live.

In defiance of all of the forces that try to lay me low.

The forces of nature that I try so hard to show in my photos have not only given me great moments to share, but they have filled me with the power of life.

And though my future is bleak in human terms, in the world of nature and of god, I am blessed. So I will not squander this chance.

I will persist even if I lose it all.

And I will never. Ever. Quit.

So, to those of you who think you can crush my spirit, or break my back. I have the force of all living things living inside of me. And while I cannot right all the wrongs I have done, I can go forward with their help, and seek salvation and redemption.

And I will never yield.