Looking back.

It was a hot and sweltering night. July 23, 1998.

My dad and I had just finished the 3rd trip with the boxes and furniture. We were exhausted. We placed the rest in the garage.

We sat outside on the front steps. It was now close to 2AM. We felt good. We both smiled. Thanks to my good fortune in my career, and a little help from him, my new home was finished being built. I watched it every day for the months it took. Documented the whole process in photos from foundation to finished.

It was a gorgeous place. Not a monster of a home, but large enough. With oak wood flooring, ceramic tile. Beautiful carpets. Spacious rooms. A finished basement with an office and even a bathroom.

An acre of property. Plenty of room to put in wonderful gardens, trees and a pond. In a cul-de-sac. Quiet. Private. No through traffic.

We sat on the porch, and listened as the sprinkler system kicked in, and gentle sound of the water made it complete. I was starting a new chapter. My wife and my 2 young kids, would have this wonderful place to call home.

Tomorrow,

I will leave the loft bedroom of my father's house, and head to Trenton. To Federal bankruptcy court.

The house? Gone.

The marriage? Gone.

The career. Gone.

The money. Gone.

The boxes now sit in my father's living room and dining room. And my furniture and other belongings are stored in a frozen garage at the lake property.

In just under 5 years time.

I lost all I had.

Including the dreams.

So, tomorrow I get to go before the creditors and the judge.

There will be no doubt that this will be approved.

After all, I have nothing left to give.