I finally understand who I am, and why I am here.

My dad, the strongest man I ever knew.

Told me a few months ago.

"Son, if I had lived what you have gone through, I would be dead by now. I do not know how you do it"

This from a man who survived the Korean war, and years of dealing with a wife (my mom) who was a severe alcoholic.

My dad is in the hospital now, awaiting major cardiac surgery. '

He's tough. He's in good spirits.

But he is afraid.

Who wouldn't be?

Well, me for one.

I know now why everything that has happened in my life has come to pass.

It was to prepare me to be the rock.

To be the one person for whom NOTHING could lay him low. Nothing could cripple him.

I am so very hard. So very tough, that nothing on this Earth phases me any more.

Yet I still have a heart filled with love. A warm smile, and the best hugs on the planet.

God, in whatever form he exists, has granted me this strength, and this kind heart.

Thank you, God.

I am so blessed.

I have suffered so much. I have lost so much. I have hurt so badly.

But that was just for you to prepare me for who I needed to be.

A man with a kind and loving heart. Soft warm embraces. A keen mind and insight. Wisdom and knowledge.

So that I could be here to help others. Others who rely on me.

My dad.

My children.

My friends.

You knew that in order for me to become this person that I would have to endure terrible loss and heartache.

But that is only because you needed to cleanse me of all of the worldly desires, and aspirations. So that I could be someone better than what I was before.

For all my failings, all my faults.

And all the tribulations that I have endured.

Nothing.

Could kill my heart.